I will follow the funny header theme hehehehehehehehe. Girl let me tell you. I met this big man at club Paris in Chicago. Yeah Yeah he’s a big boy, like 300 plus pounds, anyway I was digging the conversation, he was buying me drinks and subconsciously that kept me. He was ordering bottle. Who says you cant find love in the club! I was feeling like Beyoncé next to him, everybody knew he was except me, on a personal level. I normally entertain athletic guys, never dated a baller just talking in regard to the physical make up of my type. After the club I left with him. When I walked outside there was a parked his Rolls Royce………… mouth hits floor. okay okay, so I followed him to his house because I felt secure and wasn’t ready to call it a night. How often do you see a killer in a Rolls ? Right. His Pent house was gorgeous, he told me I could get whatever out of his fridge. I asked his name and he said ” Coffey”, I’m like mmhmm how crazy is that?? a fat man by the name of Coffey. I helped myself to get a drink and walked to his room to see what he was doing and this man had titties bigger than mine. I was shocked but I kept it cool. With his clothes on it looked like he was just big like a Offensive Lineman but looks deceived the hell out of me. I was chill remained open because he was clean and what woman don’t want a guy with his shit together ??? We were watching a movie he took my hand and touched himself with it.. I was like wth… I didn’t feel nothing. He pulled it out and THAT MAN WAS SMALL AS MY PIINKY FINGER! He wasn’t trying to have relations, I was happy for that; he just wanted a hand job, I felt bad for his rich ass and did that, he offered me 200 and I didn’t take it. No sex exchange for money Idk what I was doing anyhow. In the morning as he prepare to go to work, he got ready in the bathroom in the dark. Poor guy has all this money but hates the way he looks. I don’t know what I thought, I didn’t reach out to him after that night. I checked his Instagram page and he is mainly into white women. I see why. I kind of played myself for wasting my wrist on a dude who wasn’t satisfying to me physically.